Page Eighteen  

17 MAY 2005

Nice.  An incompetent company gets to rake in commercial rents for forty years while 'repaying' the taxpayer $1 a year for a $16 million terminal.  That sounds reasonable, no?

OK.  So what's been going on since April?

The city of Rochester has been scurrying around trying to spruce up the ship and inspire the public's confidence so they'll leap at the phone to book a reservation.

The local cable news channel even has its ever-so-witty 'Getaway Guy', Mike O'Brian, coyly showing the travel-impaired Rochester area residents the many street vendor carts and other fascinating public tchotches of Toronto.

Rochester RNews' Original Wild 'N Crazy Guy, Mike O'Brian (except he's from Corning NY)

"DO tell, Mike."  By any chance, this wouldn't be a local media outlet's surreptitious attempt to boost the 'new' ferry's passenger numbers with Rochester residents while offsetting the stunning lack of Toronto residents who are about to give the cold shoulder to this latest incarnation, now would it?

Feeble attempts are attempts nonetheless, I suppose.  When desperation and foreboding set in, might as well slap up a few clips of some grinning goofball to mug appropriately to an audience squealing in delight over his inane dialogue.  Doesn't take much to entertain the sophisticatedly bereft here.  Simple minds, simple pleasures and all that.

Right now, the slick barge is getting a makeover at Port Weller in my Canadian homeport of St.Catharines.  It's very reassuring to see not only are my U.S. dollars supporting a Niagara Region community, but so are the city of Rochester's.  We thank you for your patronage as the Canadian Niagara economy is roaring along nicely while Upstate New York's wallows in the doldrums.

After some paint and banging out the dents on the used vehicle, the ferry sails back to a tumultuous re-welcome with the local media and officials strutting their stuff in front of the new look.  Be still my beating heart.  Might we even see another rousing repeat of locals waving the American flag upon the docking of the boat?  I sure hope so.  I'd hate for anybody to think this is a Canadian initiative.

This Friday... or whenever we get around to it... the slack-jawed public will learn how much the 'new' fares will be.  My guess is a round-trip drive-on fare will be US$ 40 as I know the 'experts' will try to make the ferry trip more appealing to the public by offering a price which is lower than driving to Toronto.   We already know it's no faster, so the only other reason people would choose it is because it's cheaper.  Otherwise, there's about to be another  thunderous silence by the paying public and 'we're' not so stupid as to risk that again.... are 'we'?

I mean... 'we' did learn something from the last debacle, didn't we?  'We' aren't so stupid as to repeat the same mistakes that CATS did, are 'we'?

Only time will tell.

June 17 is the Big Day Part Deux.  Maybe.  If everything works out.  See, in the Rochester business community covering one's well-padded posterior not only saves image, it's seen as a valuable professional trait.  That way, if the Ferry's not ready to cast off on June 17, local officials can ostensibly walk away with some semblance of credibility while in actuality, be as clueless as the Village Idiot.  Such tidbits as "There was a glitch in the reservation system" or "Canada Customs came up with last minute red tape" or  "The toilet paper order was late getting in" are all terrific reasons why the barge didn't shove off as planned.

Also, there's this curious holiday in Canada known as Victoria Day weekend.  (In Canada, starting the summer season by celebrating a monarch seems to be a bit more upbeat than lionizing war dead.. of which there are plenty of other opportunities to do so. The Americans go to great lengths extolling the virtues of war and throughout the year, various holidays and commemorations are tossed up as impetus for young Americans to sign up and get shredded in some foreign conflict.)  Summer starts one week earlier in Canada and by mid-June, if plans and reservations haven't been solidified, chances are pretty good that the event isn't going to happen.  Like some intrepid excursion to a burg on the southern shore of Lake Ontario. 

You snooze, you lose... and city of Rochester officials are already behind the Eight Ball because they missed the critical unofficial start of summer in BOTH Canada and the States.  It's called "Tourist Season" in case Rochester tourism 'experts' are taking notes.

Oh, and about that passport requirement (U.S. Department of State link) for air and water entry points that takes effect on December 31, 2006... a full year before it takes effect for land crossings.  That gives border crossers a full year of not needing a passport if they drive to Toronto as compared to if they hop on the 'Fast' ferry. 

Eventually... so they say... we'll all need passports to get to Canada and back into the States in the name of Homeland Security.  Nevermind that some wayward Cessna was able to get within 90 seconds of impacting the White House or the U.S. Capitol in the 'most heavily guarded airspace' in the entire United States.  Requiring Merle and Maudie to have a passport to get back from a heavy-duty weekend of souvenir shopping in Niagara-on-the Lake will no doubt prevent a few minivans loaded with explosives from detonating in the centre of the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels in New York City.

Or maybe it's just a great way of cashing in on all border crossers to extort... uhh... raise more cash to fund all sorts of brilliant and 'secure' methods of giving the impression that anyone's any safer than pre-9/11.  Which, of course, we're not.   How much money has been poured into the Queenston-Lewiston crossing since 9/11?  How many 'terrorists' have been nabbed at that crossing since 9/11?

Not to worry.  The Canadian side of the Niagara River is dancing to a very healthy economic beat... a downturn of tourists won't help... but compared to the impact a downturn of Canadian tourists to the U.S. side will have, things will still look rosey.  Meanwhile, look for American businesses to plead for Canadian cash and customers.  'Safer'?  OK, let's see how merchants on the American side will fare.

Tightening the border may seem the way to go for 'National security' but it leaves a lot to be desired to some flimsy 'alternative to driving' extravaganza based in a backwater port in Upstate New York.  If a relatively 'open' border environment can't support a redundant transportation project, what do the prospects look like for more stringent regulations?  Worry.  Angst.

The Rochester business and community leaders are about to become the Great Lakes Punchline of the Decade and by extension, the Rochester area in general will share the honours.  Stupid is as stupid does and right now, the sheer stupidity of trying to resurrect a doomed business venture without a scintilla of rational logic makes as much sense as building another undomed sports venue when an existing undomed sports venue a shout away has never turned a profit.  Now THERE'S a real example of stupidity.  And again, the public is being asked to ante up yet another $15 million to help bail out a private company when they've run out of the last $15 million they borrowed from the taxpayer.  PaeTec Park, a soccer stadium supposedly for the masses, is another in a long list of local adventures in idiocy.

Welcome to Rochester, New York!  This is indeed the Cradle of Lunacy and the Disassociated Voter.   A community so out of touch with the Real World that locals obligingly sit back and let their 'expert' politicians treat them like complete morons without so much as a whimper.  A community whose largest employee couldn't even recognize a changing market in its own field of business.  A community where slapping up yet another worthless road sign is supposed to stimulate  interest in local history while paving the moniker over.  A community that prides itself on being some sort of 'international destination' while struggling to understand the basic concept of currency exchange.

Rochester's a bit like the tired old dowager who thinks she still looks fetching in the negligee she wore on her wedding night.  She has high hopes of attracting a suitor yet can't seem to accept her days of being the object of desire are far behind her.  Sadly, only after learning the cold truth from repeated rejections does she smarten up and start making realistic assessments.  The Rochester community has had plenty of experience in rejection and should be expected to have learned that pretending to be a major league player does not necessarily make it so.

Which after June 17, will be obvious for all to see.

Meanwhile, Toronto will have another yawn followed by a giggle or two and largely ignore the ferry service despite the new owners.  And why not?  What's changed since the CATS rendition?  Has the Rochester area introduced any new and unique attractions to draw the Canadian tourist?  Has the perception of a crime-ridden community changed?  Has the crossing experience been significantly shortened?

Are the ferry fares significantly cheaper?

Just what's changed?  Monkeying with 'projected' numbers of riders is no guarantee those numbers will be attained.   A publicly-owned business may have inherently deeper pockets than a privately-owned one, but it's a moot point if the public largely ignores the service.

There'll be any number of passengers who'll use the service, but as previously seen, that's pretty much irrelevant unless there's sufficient income to support the effort.  If expenses outstrip income, the business fails.  Simple as that.  I thought 'we' learned that from the CATS fiasco.  No?

'We' will this time.

18 MAY 2005

The meat 'n potatoes.

From http://www.nfl-bay.com/english/fast/schedule.html

OK fellow Canucks; let's do some exchanging.  One might have assumed that a Canadian company hoping to operate a service between Canada and the States would provide at least an estimate of fares in CDN$ based on reasonably current rates, but we all know that Canadians are expected to bow down to the mighty greenback.  No problem... we don't become as nonplussed by foreign currency rates as the Americans do.

Assuming US$1 = CDN$ .80.

Passenger, one-way, off-peak: US$ 29 + $5 Port and Security surcharge + tax = US$ 34 + tax  or  CDN$ 42.60 + tax

Presumably, a Torontonian who walks on the ferry will be requiring a return trip - CDN$ 85.20 + tax .  And since ground transportation costs vary greatly depending on the individual traveler, that should be included as part of the overall cost of using the ferry.  As examples, the Cherry Street terminal is two miles from Yonge Street and the Port of Rochester is seven miles from downtown Rochester.

Taking the car on the ferry is... well... practical but pricy.  Still, unless the boat ride is the main focus of crossing to the other side of the lake, burning up the few hours between arriving and returning on the ferry with cabs, busses or walking seems to be a major waste of time and money.

Of particular amusement is the cost for commercial truckers to use the ferry.  A standard tractor-trailer driver will be charged with US$ 255 + tax  or  CDN$ 318.75 + tax for a one-way crossing.  It's debatable whether the added transit time would offset the sometimes horrendous wait times to clear US Customs at a land border crossing but inarguably, the fuel saved would not cost as much as the fare.  More cost with questionable time savings?  Not a solid business case there.

I haven't delved into the business relationship between the City of Rochester and Bay Ferries so it's hard to say why Bay Ferries is picking up this boner of a route.  I suppose if Bay Ferries were to be paid a flat fee for operating the service... where even if the service were to bleed red ink from Day One they'd still make money... then it might make sense for them to step up and manage the operation.  If they got paid first with the City of Rochester pocketing any excess -- or in this case, eating the loss -- then I'd be inclined to say it somewhat made sense.

On the other hand, if Bay Ferries took a beating because the service didn't attract enough passengers... and given the previous indicator, it doesn't seem likely any corporation with a sliver of intelligence would agree to those terms... it's baffling to try and understand why a Maritime company would even give a second glance at the deal.  With the other three ferry service routes, maybe Bay Ferries figures if it doesn't make a go of the Lake Ontario route, they've lost nothing other than some face for getting involved with some backwater burg in Upstate New York.

Ultimately, the big losers will be the taxpayers of the City of Rochester and the state of New York.  The Great Unwashed will be stuck with a bill to cover some pompous corporate and political twits' vision of a Swell Idea... even though they were never asked if they wanted the thing and largely stated by their lack of support that they never needed the thing. 

Accountability be damned.  Since Mayor Bill will be pulling up stakes and moving on the bigger and better pastures, why would he care what people are thinking or saying when the ship goes down for the final count?  He'll be outta here and the new city administration can easily point fingers and say, "It's not OUR fault".  The locals get suckered yet another time -- as should be the case for not standing up when the Dominick Delucia & Friends first laid out the blueprints back in 2001.  THAT'S when the locals should have told the City administrators, "Do this and you guys are going to be hitting the bricks faster than pigeon crap".  Instead, the slack-jawed set chose to avoid getting a brain cramp by sitting down and thinking of the absurdity of the whole plan by actually imagining what using public transportation involves.  The cost of ignorance and stupidity just keeps on rising.

Hmm.  Maybe there IS an element of poetic justice here.

Frankly, I would have thought the Rochester business community and leaders would be so embarrassed by the failure of the CATS version that they'd do anything to avoid outright humiliation with a City-owned albatross.

I was wrong.  From my travels throughout Southern Ontario, the previous mild curiosity of being from Rochester has been replaced with overt smirks of amusement.   The Enron of Lake Ontario.  The Home of the Garbage Plate.   The Town That Crime Remembered.  Rochester The Joke.

This locality had better send out feelers for the best Image Consultants money can buy because at this point, once the venerable Yellow Box starts its next round of mass layoffs, the Rochester community will have sunk to new lows in esteem, respect and pride.

And a bunch of flowering shrubs in May will do nothing to change that.

10 JUNE 2005

The tension mounts.

Bay Ferries tossed out a RE-start date of Friday, June 17 a few weeks ago.  The new logo is now tastefully adorning the ship after  banging out the dents at the drydock in St.Catharines.  Had to fly a software tech in from the Netherlands to reprogram the computer (hmmm... wonder how THAT got screwed up???) but the Great Economic Panacea is back in the fetid waters of the Port of Rochester.   The locals are fairly wetting themselves with excitement.  Sort of. 

Well, a few are.

OK, OK... the vast majority of the population on this side of the pond really have pretty much forgotten about the damn thing except for the requisite spin on the local cable channels.  They're busy coordinating Dixie Cup ensembles for the next cookout and buffing up the suburban stainless steel version of a Bessemer Converter.   Grilled beast with enough BTU's to cremate a Corolla.

Meanwhile, the weekly caravan up to   THE ISLANDS   is dutifully winding its way east on Rt 104 while the neighbours can't seem to drag themselves away from the local stock car races and beer-fueled ball games.  In short, plans have been made for weeks now and with an iffy service not sure whether it's coming or going (literally), the folks have pretty much shoved the idea of taking a not-so-fast-but-oh-so-pricy boat ride across the lake to the bottom of the To Do list for Summer of 2005.

Hmmm.  Can we say, "Missed opportunity?"  I KNEW we could.

Supremely confident the anxious throngs will be flooding the reservation lines... ummm, sometime... the City of Rochester pulls its usual smug routine and tries to convince itself that regardless when the ship shoves off, there'll be a waiting market just itching to fork over gobs of cash.  After all, when the local Good Ol Boys Network says "This'll work", who are we slack-jawed peasants to argue with that?  Nevermind that the local economy is tanking and before year's end, several thousand more workers are about to hit the bricks from the latest mass layoffs at You-Know-Where.  If you're unemployed in this town, you've attained the ranks of the Invisible and Ignored.  Societal leech.  How DARE you be unemployed, you lazy underachieving slacker?

No, once again, this sorry-ass tale of the Tug That Couldn't has missed its cue.  See, here in the Northeast, the summer season is a fairly quick event: it starts on Memorial Day and is over on Labour Day... some 90 days out of 365.  And just coincidentally (or not), the tourist season runs about the same schedule.  To reap the biggest haul from the tourists, a business had better be up and running by Memorial Day or face the commensurate loss of revenue by farting around and waiting until the season's about one-third over.

Oh dear.  Cutting potential peak revenues by 33% doesn't sound like a formula for building an already shaky venture.  Even IF the financially frivolous decide to pack the boat once it RE-starts, there's already weeks of lost fares.  And as the Gentle Reader has undoubtedly detected by this point, the chances of the City of Rochester hitting it big with overflowing manifest lists are about the same as a getting a greaseless Garbage Plate.

Pfffttt.  Now they're back to the casino gig... as if (when?) the Ferry takes the final financial bow, a gambling palace right in the heart of downtown Rochester is going to be the next road to riches.  I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but casinos aren't exactly the rarity they used to be and slots are opening up at the pony tracks like weeds.  And here's a real scoop: they actually have casinos in the Province of Ontario -- no, no -- it's true.  So much for THAT bait for the Canadian buck.  (Oh, and you astute Rochester business- and tourist-types DO know about the push for a casino in downtown T.O., don't you??)

Friday   June 10, 2005

Target Date for Ferry is June 30 by Rich Turner and Matthew Biondic file photo Published Jun 10, 2005 Fast Ferry service between Rochester and Toronto should restart by the end of the June. That’s the latest word from Bay Ferries, the company that will operate the service for the city. The company says it have been making great progress on the Cat's repairs. The company is also finishing employee training for employees who will work on the boat and at the terminal in Rochester and Toronto. On Tuesday, Bay Ferries will conduct a demonstration of the marine evacuation systems on the ferry. Next Friday and beyond, the company will be performing surveys and completing vessel certification required for start up. Bay Ferries says its target completion date is June 26. The company encourages customers who booked between June 17 and 29 to re-book their trips for a future date. They will receive a 50 percent discount.  (<scratching head>  Now where have I heard of half-price tickets sales before?  Ohhh... THAT'S right; it was in the final desperate weeks just before CATS went under.  In a bid to sell tickets, CATS figured any cash was better than no cash.  Except a company on the margin can't operate at a loss for very long... and 50% reduction in income has a way of slamming the bottom line.  Plus ça change...) Right now, Bay Ferries is selling tickets for June 30 and beyond.

Ahh, I stand corrected.

We'll just blow off the entire month of June.

"Yes, but we had a late start to the season so naturally we wouldn't expect a great showing for the second half of 2005 and don't worry we'll make up for it once the service hits its stride and then everybody will be proven wrong and everything will go swimmingly you nasty naysayers you."  Or something like that.   Excuses.  Spin.  Bull.   Whatever it is, we've heard this tune before.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the whole idea of the ferry to bring cash INTO this area... not ship it across the lake?  You know... the whole Rochester-As-A-Destination thing?  Sample our Garbage Plate, sweat your butt off at our quaint retro ballpark and gaze for two minutes at Our Very Own Urban Waterfall?  Sure enough, THAT'LL offset the lure of all that Toronto has to offer and bring those Canucks sailing down here with suitcases of cash.

Won't it??

Oh, and a quick word about the so-called Excitement Factor of the ferry.  That's about a 60-minute experience.  After that, staring at a shoreline and a featureless lake tends to get... well... boring.  After the novelty of the first ride wears off, the cost and hassle set in.  You know, the reality of the thing.  For the ferry to make a financial go of this, it needs repeat customers -- people who use the ferry once or twice every few years aren't going to keep this boat afloat.  This means all you ferry supporters who don't sail up at least every other month are talking out your... well, let's just say: put your money where your mouth is.  And you supporters are going to have a hard time convincing me you visit Toronto at least every other month throughout the year.

If you've been doing that for the past twenty years, you'd know driving the QEW is no big deal.  Like me.

 NATIVE STORYTELLING SEGMENT

OK.  Here's a crash course on why we First Nations people like to tell stories to make a point.  We're a visual bunch.  The whole Tell-me-and-I'll-forget-Show-me-and-I'll-remember theory.  Literary imagery works.  Trust me.  Bear with me... that's the secret.

I just got back from a five-day conference in Regina Saskatchewan.  Follow the eastern border of Montana straight up north for a few hundred miles and you're there.  Now before you go "Big whoo" and laugh at the prospect of having a fantastic time on the  W I D E  plains, let me just say you need to see Saskatchewan like I did.  Wander around.  In a Chrysler Pacifica.  The Qu'Appelle Valley is  A M A Z I N G .  The open expanse is liberating and you drive with one hand on the wheel because everybody waves to you on the road.  For real.  'Friendly' isn't the half of it.

Regina is one fantastic little city (Pop. 195,000) with the RCMP Training Depot, Government House, the Provincial Legislature, Wascana Park (a jewel of an urban park with a lake which cities would kill for), Centre of the Arts, downtown Casino Regina, a surprisingly sleek and architecturally stunning airport plus the usual galleries, shops, etc..  Regina is so laid back, the main drags through downtown are a leisurely cruise and folks sort of amble along in no big rush.  Quiet, clean, lush and serene.

And the food's great.  And cheap.

The Trans-Canada Highway cuts through the heart of the city... no, it's not an elevated expressway designed to avoid the city.   Remember, we're not talking far-flung urban/suburban sprawl here; you could get from the east side of the city to the west in about 15 minutes.  On city streets.  Small city.  Modern, manageable... and did I mention friendly?

Forty-five minutes to the west on the Trans-Can (or Hwy 1) is a little city called Moose Jaw (pop. 35,000) ('Tee-hee' yourself...).  Now... in its heyday, Moose Jaw was quite the little centre of debauchery... bootleggers like Al Capone hung out there, as did les femmes de soir (oh yeah, bordellos 'o plenty), gambling and there was even a stretch where opium dens were de rigeur.  In short, when folks wanted a little more action than watching the endless skies, they shuffled off for some R&R in Moose Jaw.  When vice is profitable, doesn't really matter HOW small the town is; cheap women and even cheaper booze is a proven economic base.

I'd been told I should see the 'Tunnels of Moose Jaw'.   Hmmm.  Stomping around mine shafts isn't a bad way to do the tourist thing (See: The Big Nickel in Sudbury, Ontario), but dank underground places aren't exactly a major draw to the traveling set.

But these were no mine shafts.  Downtown Moose Jaw is connected by a series of underground tunnels which were hidden by the most ingenious false walls, shelves and even a fake iron boiler.  Think Addams Family basement.  And these passageways stretched for blocks in a labyrinth of various sized rooms, halls and buildings.

18 Main Street South has a big sign saying 'TUNNELS of Moose Jaw' and it's here where you buy your ticket to one or both of the two tours (one costs CDN$ 13, both cost $ 21);  one is called The Chicago Connection (it's about when Al Capone used to hide the goods and run the operation underground) the other is Passage to Fortune (about the horrific underground laundry sweat shops the Chinese labourers had to endure).  Since I wasn't particularly interested in some syphilitic American mob king, I took the Passage to Fortune tour with ten others and a guide/actor named Will (a very personable little guy with a voice that needed no amplification).  Takes about 45 minutes to complete the one tour and it included a short video, subdued lighting, a delightful little visit to an opium den ("sorry, no samples") as well as an underground herbalist salon and an underground restaurant... all carefully preserved and recreated for an authentically archived effect.  It was astonishing.  (www.tunnelsofmoosejaw.com)  If you read this and decide to check it out, ask for Will... tell him the Native guy from Rochester sent ya.

("OK... you babbling twit.  So what the hell's the point of this romantic Tale of the Plains?")  Ah, you asked that at JUST the right time.

See, this whole Tunnel extravaganza is run by a company called Attractions Canada which, as the name suggests, runs attractions across Canada.  They're pros.  They have to be.  Tourism is HUGE part of the Canadian economy and letting the Ladies Auxiliary slap up some signs and lights as a tourist draw just ain't gonna cut it.  This is a carefully planned and well executed underground stage production.  Not pretentious (yeah... it has the old musty basement smell) but a realistic recreation, restoration and preservation of a community's history... sordid that it might be.  The tour guides are actors and actresses -- for real -- and they engage the tourist in setting the scene for a somewhat unnerving experience of what life must have been like back in the days of legally sanctioned racism and surreptitious prohibition.

THAT'S how to draw in the tourist dollars.  I was there on a Friday afternoon and the place was swarming with busloads of kids as well as the odd tourist (and I have no problem with being labeled odd).  Check out their website and the tour times.  Start adding up the $13 and $21.  Minimal outlay, minimum upkeep, year-round accessibility, on the main Trans-Canada route and with enough intrigue to keep 'em coming back.   In a city of 35,000 smack dab in the middle of  F L A T  land.

Moral of this story?

Call the pros if you want to run a successful professional tourist operation.  DON'T rely on the local Mom & Pop 'tourist' bureau to try to scrape together enough attractions to fill the brochures.  DON'T try to second guess what the folks want... KNOW what they want from a source which deals specifically with trends and analysis.  DON'T rely on what some overly-pampered and -paid local business 'leader' thinks will be a Neat Thing; they're so far removed from the Real World they think the second home on the Finger Lakes is what impoverished people have to buy instead of the condo in Boca Raton.  Strange how arrogance and assumption seem to go hand in hand...

The local Rochester Tourism and Convention people know what Rochesterians want... they're clueless on what non-locals are looking for.  Museums are fine but have a very limited audience.  A mall with chain stores is the same whether it's in suburban Markham or suburban Henrietta.  EVERY community has its gastronomic specialty.  Philly steak in Philadelphia.  Crabmeat on sourdough in San Francisco.  Beef on weck in Buffalo.  White hots in Rochester.  It's not like people will travel hundreds of miles and dish out wads of cash just to sample a damn hot dog.

Or some congealed slop lovingly named the Garbage Plate.  How embarrassing is THAT?  It's NOT a 'hoot'; it's simply disgusting and pathetic.

Meanwhile, in its infinite wisdom, instead of taking a creative and innovative look at what remains of the old subway bed in Rochester, the city planners are hell-bent to fill it in.  Instead of opening up the old raceways and flour mills along the river, city planners put the urban version of Lee PressOn Nails on some old buildings and call it an 'Entertainment District' with trendy bars and restaurants (even a hopelessly trite micro-brewery) which come and go faster than the tourists they're supposed to attract.

Dumb.  Just plain dumb.

And a little place called Moose Jaw beats the pants off the third largest city in the state of New York when it comes to tourist development.  Without sinking tens of millions of dollars in a service nobody wanted, much less needed.

Native storytelling has its merits.

Rochester is still trying to find ITS merits.

And now we have 'Exhibit A' in the 'Gamely Putting On A Brave Front In The Face Of Certain Doom' category:

KARIN VON VOIGTLANDER staff photographer Strollers in Charlotte on Sunday were pleasantly surprised to see the ferry back at the Port of Rochester. The Cat returns; no trips set yet Ferry leaves Ontario dry dock, but engine work isn't finished Patrick Flanigan Staff writer (June 6, 2005) — Rochester resident John Norman has been trying to keep up with the trials and tribulations of the city's high-speed ferry. But when he arrived at the Charlotte waterfront Sunday, he was pleasantly surprised to see the 284-foot-long catamaran at the Port of Rochester terminal. "I thought it was in dry dock," Norman said. "It's nice to see it here." The Spirit of Ontario, also known as The Cat, returned to its home port Sunday from the Port Weller Dry Docks near St. Catharine's, Ontario, Canada, where it had been since May 17 for a new paint job, repairs and routine inspections. During the inspection, the ferry's managers discovered problems with the computer software in the jet propulsion system. Those problems have been corrected. But previously scheduled repairs on the engines must be completed before the ferry resumes service between Rochester and Toronto. Plans to start the ferry service June 17 have been postponed. Mark McDonald, president and chief operating officer of Bay Ferries Limited, said he hopes to provide an update this week on when the ferry will resume service. The propulsion troubles were the latest glitch in a long series of pitfalls for the ferry, which the city purchased this year. Its previous owners were not able to keep the ferry running through its first summer of operation last year after unexpected expenses outpaced revenue. But all the delays, canceled trips and false starts haven't altered Fairport resident Norrine Edwards' optimism for the ferry. Edwards and her friend, Toronto resident Rich Mercey, were in Charlotte on Sunday and were pleased to see the ferry. "I think it's great for Rochester," said Edwards. "It's easy to be a naysayer after all it's been through, but this will really put us on the map." (But, my dear, Rochester has already been put on the map.  It's the Official Joke of Lake Ontario.  With this latest incarnation, it's about to become the Village Idiot of the Great Lakes.) Mercey said the ferry was beginning to attract more attention in Toronto last summer just before service ended. "I was interested in it because I have friends here," he said. "But people were starting to take notice. They were doing news reports on it. Then it ended." (Stay tuned, Rich.  The second act just might be shorter than the first.) Looking out at the Charlotte area, Mercey has no doubt that Toronto residents will ride the ferry to Rochester. "This is very enticing for people on the other side of the lake," he said. Richard Schaeffer, who operates a hot dog stand outside the terminal, said the ferry has been good for Rochester and Monroe County. "It finally forced us to pay attention to the waterfront," he said. "For a city this size not to have this area developed a long time ago is puzzling to a lot of people."  (Remember: Always ask a hot dog vendor for in-depth community development analysis.) He said he has generally heard good comments about the ferry, despite its delays. "People are patient," he said. "They understand this is a new operation." (Ahh, but Richard my distinguished scholar; this ISN'T a new operation.  This is the remnants of the OLD operation which bombed miserably.) PFLANIGA@DemocratandChronicle.com

Now, now.  A quiet snicker is acceptable, but on-the-floor guffaws are considered in poor taste.

Quoting a hot dog vendor may not be the most unimpeachable source of feedback, but these days, trying to find anyone who's willing to go on record as saying this thing's gonna fly is a real test of journalistic prowess.  Good Lord.  What's next?  'Trash Collector Notes Increase in Ferry Terminal Garbage: Bodes Well For Ferry Future'?

Toronto?  What can I say?  These are truly desperate times on this side of the lake.  We're ready to try anything.

Including making the same mistake twice.

And Regina, Moose Jaw and Saskatchewan?  You guys are the best.  Many thanks for your fantastic hospitality.

You bet your Saskatoons I'll be back. (They're like a cross between strawberries, raspberries and blueberries.  Indigenous to Saskatchewan, they make a pie Atkins would blacklist and a berry worth the cost of a ticket on Air Canada.)

10 JUNE 2005

Hello?  What have we here?

My goodness.  Seems like the local vox populi has taken to the net with sardonic vengeance.  You there... the Toronto urban professional with generous disposable income... please take note.  Despite the well-hyped buzz carefully crafted by those supposedly in the know, here's a well organized view by the legions of naysayers on this side of the lake.

Actually, this is a pretty good site which strips away the superficiality and pretentiousness of the Rochester political and business community and tells it like it is.  Even has a nifty photoblog which does wonders to reveal the neat, the hideous and the downright bizarre aspects of life in the Flower City area.  I like it.

Now, for all you high-falutin' Tranna folks, bear in mind we're not all a bunch of Jimmy-drivin' Jethros down here despite every media image to the contrary.  No, this here's the third largest metropolitan area in the state of New York, yessiree.  We've elevated the Suburban Experience to almost religious proportions while  allowing the urban centre to decay into an anachronism of past glory days.  Somehow, even the Silver line of streetlights doesn't seem to be having much of an effect on turning things around.

It's not like this hasn't been a work in progress, mind you.  The fact is: the downtown core has been sliding into obscurity since the late Sixties and attempts to stem the flow to the burbs have been going on ever since.  Yeah, yeah... there's housing developments within the city centre... as well as one plan after another aimed at attracting residents and tourists to part with their cash, but the proof is in the pudding.  Downtown Rochester has all the charm of concrete and asphalt with a sprig or two tossed in for greenery.

What's the answer?  Beats the hell outta me.  The typical Monroe County resident sees sprawl as good for the tax base and a great way to shave those precious six minutes off the commute to the next town's Big Box Emporium.  A 45-minute tie up on the 401 is standard in the GTA; a four-minute slow down around here makes all the traffic reports and causes intense commuter angst.  Rochester area residents worship and depend on their cars, but seem to hate driving with a passion.  As long as public transportation in this area continues to be pathetic, it looks as if sprawl will continue unabated and downtown will languish into a netherland.  Sprawl and all its implications, has been proved time and time again to be a cancer to a community in general.

From the files of "You Actually Get Paid For This Tripe?":

Home » News & Views » News articles JUNE 8, 2005 Looking for solutions at East and Main   BY TIM LOUIS MACALUSO "...Rochester does have its own problems, though. "We're not really risk takers in Rochester," says Heidi Zimmer-Meyer (president of the Rochester Downtown Development Corporation). "We're pretty conservative, and we have an awfully hard time taking that chance to be bigger and better. The Fast Ferry was a huge test in that respect."  (Well, Heidi, I'd say if the Fast Ferry was a test, it's painfully obvious 'we' failed that one.) "Let me show you something," says Zimmer-Meyer. She turns around to one side of her small office, a perch on the 13th floor of 183 East Main Street. Work crews at Corn Hill Landing, one of the new housing developments under way, can be seen from her windows. "Here it is," she says spreading a newspaper open and pointing to a story on the lower right side of a page. It's about the Rochester ferry, and there's a big, gleaming image of the vessel cutting through the water. The newspaper is from Shanghai, China, published for American business people living there. "My daughter is there, and she sent it to me," Zimmer-Meyer says, smiling. "We lose sight of how important that project is to this area. This is just one of the international papers that picked that story up."..." (link)  (Well now, that's just lovely Heidi.  The next times the folks from Shanghai China are in town, no doubt they'll have travelled halfway around the planet just for the 'excitement' of taking a ferry OUT of this area.  Mere recognition is irrelevant unless the customers are present to stoke the bottom line.)

With pompous, disassociated business 'leaders' like this, is there any wonder why Downtown Rochester resembles an urban desert?  Sounds like Heidi needs to descend from her 13th-floor-office-with-a-view to take a real look at life at street level.  My guess is she doesn't catch the wafting of urine-drenched doorways in her posh office digs.  For that matter, I'm curious which downtown housing project she calls home... because I just KNOW she wouldn't be caught dead in some chic city neighbourhood or tony suburban town while she sings arias of praise about downtown.

That would make her President of the Flower City Hypocrites, no?

It boggles the mind to understand how a few daily Canadian ferry passengers who *might* wander downtown are supposed to turn things around.   At a 15-20% devalued Canadian dollar in the face of the Greenback, there'd better be some outstanding value for the money to entice Canadian tourists to visit this area.  Compared to the variety, quality and number of world-class eateries in Toronto, Rochester's restaurants are serving Swanson Dinners... so to the Torontonian, epicurean delights are few and far between here.  Not a big draw there.

Museums and art galleries?  Well, yes.  Rochester has a few worth noting but no more so than the museum and gallery circuit in Toronto.  No draw there either.

Shopping?  The Monroe-Oxford area is probably one of the more interesting venues for the unusual and funky, but it pales in comparison to Queen West.  Suburban malls are a bit of a trek and really offer nothing different than can be found in suburban Toronto.  Village Gate is a creaky and largely unmobbed shopping experience but is worth checking out.  Allow an hour and you'll have covered the place from top to bottom.  Again, the draw is absent.

The Eastman Theatre is a great community jewel, but considering every modest-sized city has some upper-crust theatre it can hardly be considered unique.  Care to count the number of theatres in Toronto?

No points can be given to either metropolitan area for their splendid beach properties.  Let's face it, swimming in fecal-laden algae isn't on the brochures for either city.  Sunnyside is usually packed nonetheless and the Ontario Place water park attractions at least make overtures to the presence of recreational lake facilities.  When Ontario Beach is closed to swimming, what else is there to do at the lakefront?

When the ferry makes its its final trip into the Port of Rochester, will the highly-touted attractions of Rochester be sufficient to make visitors want to spend any time here?  Is the ferry the actual selling point or is the Rochester area the selling point which is ostensibly the major draw here?  Take away the ferry and what's left?

Frankly, I'm not sure even Rochesterians know.

13 JUNE 2005

Hope springs eternal.

I guess it would be remiss to not at least hold a meeting or two of the regional economic and tourism councils in anticipation of the waves of ferry riders hitting the south shore.   Just as a gauge of the scope of the hope pinned on the ferry, The Star-Gazette is the local paper based in Elmira NY... a small community 100 miles southeast of Rochester and eight miles north of the Pennsylvania state line.  Gang Mills is a wide spot 20 miles to the west in Steuben County.

That's a major chunk of Upstate New York.  It doesn't take bugging phone lines to figure out some Official Ferry Promoter caught the ears of the communities along the major route from Rochester to New York City telling them to tidy up and get ready for the flood of Canadian plates as they head towards Gotham once the ferry service restarts.  Poor gullible fools.  Hopefully they'll take that advice with a grain of salt and not start closing libraries to make way for souvenir shops.

Haven't heard of much ferry buzz in Syracuse advising of impending wayward tourists; but being perfectly catty, Syracuse is a bit less naive about the whole affair and isn't as likely to buy into the spin.  Besides, Rochester's nose is out of joint with the expansion of Carousel Mall morphing into one of the largest mall meccas in the United States just north of downtown on I-81... so "we'll just quietly ignore them".

Trouble is: once word spreads around just how much it'll cost to bring the car along on the ferry to supposedly save time on the trip from Toronto to NYC (common knowledge and the Ferry operators all admit it won't), cars will head west towards Burlington as they always have.  There'll be the occasional Canadian car on the ferry as a matter of doing something different, but to expect a ferry service to depend on that sort of clientele as a serious source of revenue is to be daft and premature.

My parents and grandparents were from Steuben County and I spent a lot of time growing up around the Finger Lakes.... Keuka Lake in particular.  Without question, the Finger Lakes are a pretty phenomenal part of NYS and should be on every tourist's agenda.  Leafpeepers in the autumn cram the roads as the displays of colourful vistas are intense and 15 to 20 mile views are common.  It's a great tourist draw of the most natural kind.

But seemingly unknown to many of the local tourism gang is that... get this... the Province of Ontario has easily accessible lakes as well.  The pinnacle of Cottage Country - the Muskoka lakes - is a few hours north of the GTA.  The Kawarthas are to the east.  Huronia with Sauble and Wasaga Beaches are to the northwest.  And that giant summer enclave of the Toronto back-to-nature set - Algonquin Park - is rife with lakes, rivers and moose.  It's not as if Torontonians were lacking in places to go see some spectacular lake country, so the Finger Lakes -- while great in their own right -- aren't the trump cards to pull in the battalions of minivans.

Rochester NY - Assumption Capital of the World.  If all the baseless assumptions were stripped away from the so-called 'ferry business model', the only question left would be, "Why in hell are we wasting our time and money with this oaf of an idea?"

And if all the predictions, promises and prognostications were tossed in together, the City of Rochester could go into the psychic business.   Quotes like "People will want ____", "The ferry will ____", and "We expect ____" are all based on conjecture, not fact... and therefore are subject to flawed reasoning and a whole lot of gross generalization.  Not exactly a professional point of view to grab onto with a death grip.

The U.S., while trumpeting all the good it has to offer, doesn't understand the non-U.S. population also sees the bad news as well and holds that against the States while making general assessments.  On a smaller scale, the ills of Rochester appear in the column next to all the good to the international community and while the Rochester image makers only want the good stressed, it cannot remove the negative perceptions which are seen with the same frequency as the positive.  Thus, all the murders, crime and decay which the Rochester area dutifully reports in its media are beamed directly to Southern Ontario which in turn, sticks in the craw of those considering a visit here.  "Rochester.  The place where they show a different murder every day on their local news."  "Rochester.  The place where the largest employer also happens to be the largest airborne polluter on Lake Ontario."  "Rochester.  The place where buildings burn because the 150-year old water infrastructure collapses under the demand of putting out a fire".  "Rochester.  The place where they close schools because of lack of money yet seem to come up with tens of millions for professional sports teams."

THAT'S what Southern Ontarians are talking about... not how lovely the Eastman Theatre is.  To the Canadian tourist, a week or two of lilacs blooming in May does not offset the mayor of the place warning tourists not to stray too far from the recommended route as they might be jeopardizing their lives anytime of the year.   Welcoming guests requires cleaning the house BEFORE promises of an awesome stay and the Rochester area needs to address its many problems FIRST.  Until that's done, Canadians are going to steer clear by the droves.

Especially when a pricy boat ride to such a community is offered.  Doesn't matter whether a fast ferry , hovercraft or submarine ride is in place; the draw isn't there and without that, neither will be a dedicated transportation link.

Like it or not, the paying Canadian public will be the sole determining factor in whether this boat floats or sinks in red ink.  All the charming amenities in the world can't change that.

15 JUNE 2005

Public records and proof.

Yeah, so what?

Well, when the time comes to start calling the guilty participants to this ferry bad idea on the carpet to do some 'splainin, it's important to haul in everybody who supported this debacle in the first place.  And as the above document clearly shows, that would include the Monroe County Executive, who also tossed in the support of the Monroe County residents on their behalf.

And since there was never any vote or referendum posed to the Monroe County residents actually asking them if they wanted -- or needed -- a dedicated fast ferry service to Toronto, this so-called 'united.. enthusiastic support' existed purely as a matter of conjecture by the County Executive at the time.  He simply 'assumed' the support was there by the community he was charged to represent.

"Oh well, Jack's gone and now Maggie's in the office... so if the service flops a second time, it's not her fault."

Sorry.  Maggie B's not off the hook by a long shot.  Try as I might, there just doesn't seem to be any public record of her refuting, retracting or in any way, shape or form withdrawing Monroe County support of this fiasco.  That's  implicit approval.

And explicit complicity.

Former Republican County Exec Jack Doyle pulled a few acts during his final days in office to help out his party's successor... the slickest of which was to raise the County tax rates -- an act he fought and refused to do during his tenure -- so that Mags could enter office and cheerfully chirp "I didn't raise taxes".

Jack shrugged and moved on to bigger and better things, not especially traumatized by his tarnished record.  Maggie sails in, election promise intact and the Monroe County voters were once again played as compliant saps.

So neat.  So tidy.  So typical.  One might think when the handing out of blame comes due, the voters of Monroe County got exactly what they asked for and probably deserved.  I'll be charitable here and cut a little slack to the Monroe residents by saying there really wasn't much opportunity for the County or City residents to step up and stop the project from the beginning.  And to be perfectly blunt, the GTA folks didn't stand much of a chance to quash the idea either.

Government by representation or government by decree?  In this case, leaving the public out of the equation was not only a serious oversight, it resulted in the failure of the service... not once, but from most indications, twice.  If this were some small charter boat operation run by the City of Rochester, it still wouldn't be a prudent way to start a business but at least the failure wouldn't be resulting in tens of millions of dollars flushed down the crapper.

The naysayers are sharpening their knives.  Bay Ferries is in a pretty bad position (brought on by themselves) as there's no way they'll escape the resultant mess when it hits the fan.  Naturally, I hate to see a Canadian company take a beating over the antics of some small town with delusions of grandeur but there's also no excuse for not taking a close look at why the CATS version failed before they jumped on board.  'Not enough public demand to support an undertaking of this magnitude' isn't a very complex concept to arrive at, but one would think that would have been evident from the minute CATS shoved the blueprints on the table for the first time.  Some people just can't take 'no' for an answer... even when common sense leaves no other alternative.  Seems sort of idiotic that millions upon millions of dollars need to be spent in order to prove a point, but there you have it.

With a little over two weeks before the ferry shoves off... again... rumours are floating around that the numbers of reservations just aren't there.  And with Bay Ferries offering 50%  off the regular fares until June 29 (the projected day before shove-off), it raises the question of 'why'?  Wouldn't be as an incentive to boost lackluster sales, now would it?  We have no way of knowing the REAL reason as Corporate worries can be sloughed off with any number of excuses given to the public.  Of course, even as dense as the public can be at times, when it comes to the very real possibility of losing cash from a surprise suspension of service à la CATS (any guarantees that that won't happen again?) the public gets a touch more cynical and cautious.

Whatever direction this White Elephant takes, one thing is abundantly clear:  allowing political and corporate initiatives at the public's expense to go forward unfettered without the public's approval is really getting the voters pissed off.   Writing letters and emails to elected officials may be marginally successful, but when political representatives start doing more 'telling' than 'asking', it's time to step up and let them know they're in office to do the people's bidding... not their own.

Hey, Governor Pataki?  You paying attention to this ferry farce?  You think this is a sound business plan?  Or are you just trying to maintain the status quo by tossing the kids some candy and calling it a day?  I'm all for trying to raise Upstate out of the current economic graveyard, but let's at least be realistic on the methods of doing so.  Maybe the Manhattan Stadium project had some merit - or not - but clearly, given the first failure, the ferry project did not.  That should have sent a message that there was some serious flaws in both the perceived need and logic of this project.  Desperate times do not necessarily demand desperate measures; they require pragmatic measures.

And I see nothing pragmatic with respect to the ferry.